ThAt wHIcH DOeS NoT kILL Us…

This could possibly be my last blog post ever…ok, I don’t really think that, BUT I could very well not survive tomorrow’s run. Why? Chalk it up to poor preparation – and the fact that panic is only just now setting in with the realization that tomorrow morning (let’s hope it’s not drawn out past the morning hours!) I will run approximately 7 miles further than I have ever run IN MY LIFE! Yep, I will do just about TWO consecutive 5Ks beyond the furthest distance I have ever run before. This could be painful.

That which does not kill us makes us stronger, right? Well, I’m not normally one to live by that motto, but due to my lack of training and slightly insane determination to complete this goal, I’m repeating the mantra in confidence, hee hee. Truth be had: this really isn’t such a big deal – yes, some physical pain, but I have a medicine cabinet for that. I’m likely going to have to suffer a bit of lost pride too – because I’ve NEVER won first place a race in 10 years – AND this one won’t be pretty. I can do with less pride though. So, really, what’s there to loose…yes, the extra pounds from the Halloween candy. That’s a sweet benefit of this form of self punishment. With the free food and beer waiting at the finish line though (assuming I make it there before it’s gone,) I’m not sure there will be much of a caloric deficit in all this.

Before you start thinking I’m some sort of crazed masochist, I should explain that I really have been training – just not quite enough (little technicality, whoops.) I also don’t have the competitive drive that I’ve seen in the men in my life – my brother has proven that he can (and will) do just about whatever it takes to assure that he doesn’t let his sister pass him in any running event – EVEN if it means pushing his limit. I admire him for his spirit of determination and follow through! I simply just won’t do that. My competitive desire is far less than that for a reasonable comfort level, ha. I WILL WALK if I have to!

The coolest thing about my lack of preparation: I know I’m going to have to rely on God to get me through. I AM going to struggle and want to quit…and lucky for me, I can’t quit. This is a backcountry race, and even if I don’t get lost, I’m going to be out in the middle of nowhere and have to get myself all the way to the finish line – unless I want to sleep with the coyotes.

It’s just one of the reasons I run – because I’m NOT good at it AND I can’t do it on my own. Yes, I usually like to make sure I’m a bit more ready than this, but it is what it is. Life has a lot of ways of putting me in a position of fully surrendering to His will…this is just one I actually choose! I can only hope this makes me stronger ~ and that this won’t be my final blog post!

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