Posted on June 26, 2010 by Jaime Clark, WineGlasSlipper
In my best efforts to get this parenting thing right the first time around (and I’m still in need of much grace), I’m taking part in a summer study on Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp. I’ve found the overall message of this study to be very thought-provoking, and not in a deep intellectual way, but a more obvious, “I’ve really missed the boat”, sort of way. The message is one that I think we, as busy parents, often forget – we’re not here to simply correct our children’s bad behavior – we’re here to speak to their hearts, and let the convictions of their hearts guide their good behavior.
Proverbs 22:6 explains, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”
Luke 6:45 says, “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.”
As we continue in this study, I will pass along good suggestions. For now, I’m finding that the consciousness of truly teaching my children why we want to behave well rather than simply correcting their bad behavior for social acceptance – or mommy sanity – is giving me the insight I have needed for several of my parenting struggles.
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Posted on June 15, 2010 by Jaime Clark, WineGlasSlipper
A big part of parenthood, and life in general, is the continual process of making choices – some more consciously than others. With each choice, we face opportunity cost – something that we give up in order to accept the one, single decision we go with. Having to make a choice inevitably results in an overall gain or loss for that particular situation. The tricky part of all this decision-making is that the measurable outcome is often unclear when dealing with intangible concepts, so we can’t actually prove that we’ve made the best choice available to us. So, how do we begin to sort through the many dilemmas we face in our daily adventures?
Whether you first consult the facts or look to your feelings on the situation, I believe in the divine power of consciousness/wisdom – the innate knowledge of right and wrong that speaks to us and guides our paths in the way in which we should go. It is my belief that we must search our hearts to find the answer that speaks to us in a language of abounding love – mature, enduring, and kind.
With the powerful tool of love, even the most difficult decisions can be conquered with grace. So, when struggling with a difficult decision, consider the opportunity cost with a measure of abounding love…and always choose love.
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Posted on June 4, 2010 by Jaime Clark, WineGlasSlipper
I had a talk today with a family member who is having some difficulty with their young child throwing fits and acting out. A lot of it was reminiscent of things we went through with our son at that age, and some of it was similar to the things our daughter is just starting to do. This family member was feeling something that we’ve all felt at one point or another during the adventure of parenthood – guilt.
The truth is that none of us are perfect parents – or perfect people for that matter – and we’re all going to mess up sometimes. All we can do is just keep trying, learning, praying, and correcting our mistakes as we go. Because I know these particular parents well, I can tell you that they’ve done a fabulous job raising their kids, and, most importantly, they show their children unconditional love.
I believe that its important to conquer guilt before it begins to accumulate and attack us from the inside out. We need to remember to apologize when we do something wrong, ask for forgiveness, and then receive that forgiveness fully – forgiving ourselves so that we can be the very best parent possible. Our children are going to learn more from our ability to handle a tough situation gracefully than if they never had the example to learn from in the first place.
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